May 3, 2005

  • Just to appease the masses:



    Kind of like Han Solo frozen in carbonite.. or whatever.


    As soon as I'm done with finals. I'm rocking the Xanga world....


    ...I guarantee it.


    So for all those people who like to complain about me not updating:



    Uncle Joey style.



    Dave Coulier would be proud.


    ~Taylor Wilson, Staff President

April 23, 2005

  • If you can't live a week without water, then how can you go two weeks without a post from me?

    >>someone who went too long without reading a xanga post of mine<<
    ((you may not want to click that... well you can't say I didn't warn you))


    You simply can't, so being the nice guy I am, I decided to post for everyone. I don't want anyone dying on me now. Oh, but you better read this one.


    "Oh, God of Xanga, where have you been," you may ask?


    That's an interesting question. Normally, I hate talking about my real life, but for some reason, I feel like being generous and letting everyone in on what it is I do. Gah... where do I begin?



    The Good Ol' Boys never looked so good.


    You guessed it! Jake and I were given a modest proposal from a network television company to recreate one of the most classic TV shows ever: The Dukes of Hazzard.


    Being that I love bluegrass rock and really old muscle cars, this is probably one of the coolest things that has happened to me in the past month. Be prepared to see our show air on every TV station ALL THE TIME. Yeah, the show is that good. In fact, next time you see me, you should ask for an autograph.


    With all this new fortune Jake and I have acquired, we've been hitting the open road and expanding our horizons. Both of us bought hogs, or "motorcycles" for those not hip to the biker lingo, and tore up some highway.



    Jake, aka Hell-Porker, born 2 B wild.


    Jake maybe went a little too far out with this biker thing. Personally, I enjoyed it for a couple days until the leather gave me a rash. Maybe a little TMI (that's how you say "too much info" if you're really hip like I am), but you took the risk of learning that by reading my xanga. So... while Jake was still enjoying his cross-country hog-romp, I decided to take a trip to China... or someplace like that. I don't really know for sure, but there were a lot of AZN peepz n it wuz fun. I even made a friend!



    Me and my new Asian friend, Cao Pi, enjoying some of the sites of his country.


    I learned a whole lot about Asia in the short time (two days) I was there. For instance, did you know that Asia has a lot of short people? Could have fooled me with that Yao Ming character.


    Well there was a lot of other interesting facts about Asia, but I forgot them, so I'll move on...


    Everyone hear this: if you litter, I am going to kick your ass.


    That sounds a little radical, right? Not after you find out that I'm Captain Planet!!



    The power is MINE, damn it.


    So if you're thinking that this whole me-being-a-nature-loving-superhero thing is new... well, you're right. It is. What happened was I was spending my Tuesday the way I normally do:


    -killing small defenseless animals for great corporate monetary gain.
    -cutting down whole forests just for fun.
    -pouring all my nuclear waste (no, not my poop...I'm not Jay Huff) into natural water reserves.
    -working in my evil tree/animal/natural fuel burning factory because I think dark clouds are cool.


    Well you get the point. I was filling my anti-environmental quota, and those darned planet-punks tried to stop me! They called forth the big blue planet dude and I was force to kick his ass. Gaia, the mother of Earth, was so impressed by me that she made me the new Captain Planet. The rest is history.



    Old picture.. taken circa August 2004... and we were trying to look cheesy.. so shut up.


    Last, but certainly not least, I hung out with my dear Elisa recently... which happens about once every month. Before I show you pictures, I need to explain a couple things:


    First off, if you are wondering who Elisa is, first off, she is NOT my girlfriend, but instead just a really good friend of mine. She has a boyfriend, Daniel Rueb, and he's really hot (I'd do him), so stop thinking bad thoughts about us.


    Secondly, from here on out, my Xanga is rated PG13...


    Now... onto the pictures.


    My French Professor, ou mon prof de la francais si vous etes francais(e), had a lecture over the French culture. <sarcasm>Anyone that knows me, knows that I LOVE the french and I would die to attend a lecture like concerning their culture.</sarcasm> So really I just thought it would be a good excuse to hang out with Elisa (score!) while I get extra credit in my french class (2xSCORE!)


    The lecture was thrilling. Elisa kept taking pictures of my French Professor because he's really hot (I'd do him) while Monsieur Clement went over some exciting subjects. example:


    We learned about...

    self explanatory picture... unless you don't know french.


    After nailing subject matter such as "le Coq," Elisa and I returned to my car to play around... I mean with toys... ok not those toys... well actually...



    Ok... a beanie babie, a stuffed Bulldog, and what the hell is that other thing?


    So you can pretty much find anything and everything in my car... and no I'm not ashamed of it. Anyway, I'm getting off subject (again)...


    SUDDENLY THE BEANIE BABY AND BULLDOG CAME TO LIFE!!! NOT ONLY THAT, BUT THEY WERE EXTREMELY HORNY!



    the bear, obviously MAULING Elisa



    I apologize to anyone still attending EMHS who has a shred of school pride.
    that was low.


    I'm done with that... I've sunk too low... or have I? Hold on a second...


    I am going to pay for this next part...



    SHE'LL KILL ME AND MAKE IT LOOK LIKE AN ACCIDENT!


    So... NOW I'm done with the high school humor, I better set the record straight.


    Elisa has picture of ME doing the exact same thing on her website... so I feel it's only fair I post this picture. You can go and laugh and leave a comment on her sight.. and Elisa and I will makeup after a month... after which it will be about time for us to hang out again.


    Hah... well I doubt ANY of you read the whole post... but you should. I put forth way too much effort... and I'll probably cry if you don't read it all.


    Until next time folks, I'm signing out.



    ~Taylor Wilson, Staff President


    //EDIT// Go to AlottaBS's Xanga and see the wonderful photoshop rendering Mrs Simpson (Jake's Mother) did of me, then leave a respectful comment. \TIDE\

April 9, 2005

  • JACOB PETER SIMPSON IS BACK


    Now we can get back down to business... the business of kicking ass.



    Not since Billie and Jimmy Lee has there been such an awesome pair.


    Jake's spent a week in hell, due to it being Initiation Week in his fraternity. He hasn't told me anything about it, but I can tell it's been really tasking on him. The guy looks more worn thin than John Kerry 2004... or worse, Al Gore 2000.


    I updated yesterday, so I'm going to make this post short. I hope you don't mind.


    Just one more thing:


         Stormy, you asked to be part of my mystical band of adventurers, so here you are:



    The Monk has a strong familiarity with his own spirituality. He uses this raw ethereal energy to craft his body into a weapon by enhancing his speed, agility, dexterity, strength, and natural healing. It is foolhardy to threaten a Monk with nothing but pride and a thick neck, for it would take little effort for a Monk to break either.


    Ok, I lied. NOW just one more thing:


    How well do you Xangites actually know me?


    Good luck with my quiz. I expect a lot of high scores, a lot of low scores, and a lot of scores in between. Hell, I just expect a lot of scores.


    //EDIT// Stop putting in fake names on my quiz. That just upsets me... plus I know who it is once you take my quiz again and get 100. //TIDE//

April 8, 2005

  • Before I really start on another boring post, and I still have your attention, I have a few interesting things I've found on the web lately... yeah, no one says "web" anymore.


    1. >>Click here<<


         I'm not quite sure how to explain this. If you like Jackie Chan, you might like this video. If you like STREET FIGHTER, I guarantee you will like this movie.


         //EDIT// I just realized that Jackie Chan is not only E Honda but ALSO Chun Li //TIDE//


         //EDIT// Oh, and Stormy, the only reason it took four Street Fighters to beat Ken is because none of them were Zangief.


        Stormy's response:



    I totally owned stormy in that debate.
    //TIDE//


    2. >>Click here<<


         This is the Xanga of some guy who commented on my last post. I went here, and found probably the single most offensive video... since... no it's simply the most demeaning video ever. This guy deserves a lot of eprops.


    3. >>Click here<<


         I have an imposter... I'm flattered and disturbed at the same time. When you see the xanga name, you'll understand.


    4. >>BOW TO TAYLOR WILSON BLOGRING<<


         I know you ALL have anxiously awaited this moment. Finally, >>someone brilliant<< really outdid themselves. I had no part in the creation of this blogring, but I really do appreciate it. Thank you, Lisa.


    Alright... well now that that's over, feel free to zone out through the rest of this post.


    I've never been so glad that it's the weekend... well yes I have, but I've still anxiously awaited Friday.


    First off, I had to write a research paper over why gay people are gay. Now I really don't care HOW they are gay. It's really none of my business. I was up until 4 last night finishing my paper. PERHAPS I could have been finished half an hour earlier had I not taken a break to write my English Comp teacher an email about how my apartment was under attack by zombies.


    Oh well I have a short attention span. I guess I'll just have to prove to you how bad it is.


    During French on Wednesday, I was very adamant about not paying attention in class. Mainly because I know the whole French language already. I started doodling and here's the final result... any old school NES fans will surely appreciate this:



    Mega Man... please don't laugh too much. I haven't drawn since Junior year.


    As soon as I got home, I loaded up that blessed Paintshop Pro 7, as I always do, and after scanning my drawing, I went to work on it:



    Yes, that is Mega Man's outfit.
    Hey, that's a good idea for the next emo fag.. er fad.


    //EDIT// It's my goal to include Stormy at least twice in this post, and since we're on the topic of Mega Man, I may as well include some pictures I made for him:



    The infamous Mega Man 2 select screen with a slight alteration...


    &



    STORMBOT
    //TIDE//


    As for my research paper... I was sidetracked several times simply by checking Xanga and... ugh, Myspace... over and over. Seriously, at least once every five minutes.


    Then I started watching the Beastie Boys video "Hey Ladies." Very classic. A line and scene in the music video inspired me to do something even more counterproductive...


    "Broke up with your girlfriend--it ended in tears,
    Vincent Van Gogh gonna mail that ear."



    For your information, that is actual toilet paper wrapped around my head. The reason I look so down is because this was my last roll... and I spent about seven minutes just trying to keep the TP on my head.


    Moving on... as I always try to do.


    I'm going to Stillwater tonight.


    That's right, for the first time since last semester, I'm returning to OSU's beautiful campus. I hope someone reads this and calls me tonight. For you sly ones who DON'T catch subtlety, that's a huge hint to call me if you're in Stillwater.


    So I don't feel like making this post dreadfully long, so I shall stop here. I love all of you people--stalkers, friends, stalkers, love interests, and minorities.


    Until next time,


    ~Taylor Wilson, Staff President

April 5, 2005

  • This may be how you felt after reading my last Xanga post:



    I know I know... I stabbed your with my sharpened tears of sorrow.


    But cheer up, emo kids! Just comb that hair for once and DON'T adjust the contrast on all of your pictures, because I didn't actually leave you!


    As five of you found out (and then commented... thusly getting your comment deleted... sorry), that was actually my April Fools Post! HAH! Well I got about thirty of ya.


    I just want you all to know that, just like my info says and like I've told Rhetta thousands of times before: "I WILL Xanga until I die."


    You see, I mentioned something about real life and xanga conflicting... here's a very in-depth diagram to explain it all:



    Xanga, of course, being the actual sumo.


    While life is important, there is no chance that my life will be able to overcome my lust for Xanga... therefore, real life, like the small white kid, just needs to accept the fact it won't win the fight.


    I'm very sorry it took so long to make this post, but I've really had an eventful weekend for once. As all of you Oklahoman's know, last weekend was the Medieval Fair in Norman, which just so happens to be one of my favorite events, period.


    Just for the record (and to propel myself farther into loser-dome), I have not missed a Medieval Fair in Norman since I was introduced to it in 2nd grade.


    For the first time in my eleven years attending the Medieval Fair, I realized that the actual WEIRD people are not the ones who dress up at the fair, but a large amount of the people who don't dress up and attend the fair.


    For example:



    Johnny "Twisted Clown on the inside" Violence


    Now this is not someone I know. That is not his name (though in his world, it might be similar). I just looked up the stereotypical word "Goth" on Google's image search and this was the first disowned kid I found 'post-worthy.' Most people think it's rude to judge people's looks with stereotypes, but that's something that makes both the United States and I such kick-ass things: being over 50% conservative, judging people by their looks and then lampooning them right before beating them up.


    Woo... off on a tangent... anyway...


    This fair was also the first time for me to see something I find very upsetting:


    TONS OF BOYS IN GIRLS PANTS--


    C'mon now. It's not cool to advertise how you can fit in your friend's younger sister's pants. Instead, it advertises something else. I remember in a much simpler time (Elementary school) when all us physically superior kids would beat up on the sensitive and more fragile kids... I guess some kids never learn though.


    Ladies, what's so hott about a guy who has crappy hair, a smaller waste than you and so much pent-up sexual frustration that he takes it out on his guy friends?



    ((Click to enlarge))
    Watch out, boys--these guys are sexually confused!


    One thing I'm very thankful for is the fact that as long as these guys dress this way, I have a huge edge over them when competing for a job*.

    *-void if job is fashion design


    The only entity more closely fitted to this girlish-boy persona than actual girl pants is this horrible excuse of noise known as "GRINDCORE."


    "GRINDCORE? More like GRINDSUCK!!"


    If you believe in that saying at all, then I have the perfect blog for you... and >>here<< it is.


    Enough of my jingoistic personality.


    Next year will be by far the greatest year of all for the Medieval Fair.


    "Why," you ask?


    Well because next year I'm gathering a band of adventurers suited to best any journey and any foe... and here they are:



    The Banger's mystic abilities to harness nature and wildlife not only for revivifying but for malevolent damage spells are an asset to any group.



    The Zinger's brute strength and hulking demeanor are enough to send any creature with half a brain scampering in the other direction. And his dealings with tribal herbs also prove beneficial to the party.



    If deceptiveness and stealth are your game, then Matthew the Rogue will be your favorite character. Whether it's stealing loot, lusting the ladies, or causing general mischief everywhere, Matt is always invisible even to the keenest of eyes.



    The tales a bard may tell are never-ending. More so a lover than an actual fighter, Joel uses his natural charisma to aid his group members. From boosting the morale of his allies with song, to boosting the bargains in Taverns with his charm, Joel is a friend you will find most captivating.


    With these loyal friends at my side, no doubt shall we be prosperous in our ventures.



    ~Taylor Wilson, Staff President

March 7, 2005

  • //EDIT//


    Looks like someone beat me for the ugliest person in the world award



    Gerard Way-- Singer for My Chemical Romance


    I dunno... I might still win over this guy.


    \TIDE\


    The party Jake and I had Saturday was pretty fun...


    There's one thing I noticed though:


    People would come and stay for five minutes then leave...


    I mean I know I'm comparible to some Gods in physique, but am I so intimidating that people can't spend more than half an hour around me? Snap...


    Well Jake got a little angry because apparently someone (or some many) drank the wine given to him as a birthday present and he didn't get to have any. I think I know who did it, but I'd rather you come out and apologize to Jake yourself.


    He wasn't as pissed off that the wine was gone, but because he was trying to give away Vodka (Skyy... expensive shit motherfu...) and no one would drink that. Granted, I hate Vodka and think it tastes like the urine of some Russian whose been drinking coconut milk for the past week, I would rather drink that than steal from someone's birthday present... maybe it's morals.. I don't know.


    Seriously, I'm only angry because Jake was angry... and I have to live with him.


    Moving on [since that was entirely too much post and no picture]...


    I've been having really weird dreams lately. I can't complain because they aren't nightmares like I used to have all the time, but from these dreams you can tell I've been playing too much Nintendo.


    Taylor's Super Dreamtendo



    I kid you not; we were Final Fantasy 3 characters in Super Mario World.



    Obviously a lot of my real life carries into my dreams... especially the more loserific aspects.



    Jake, now alone, stumbles into one of those dreaded Mario World puzzle rooms that have no rhyme nor reason...
    he spots something... who could it be1?!?!



    Oh God!  It's the departed Raul Julia!!!
    [Horribly portraying one of the coolest villains in any video game]


    so this part I had to leave out or else my xanga would certainly get banned...


    What happens, though, is Jake get's beat up by Raul Julia... maybe because Jake is Sabin from FF3 who looks remarkebly like Guile from Street Fighter... and EVERYONE who's ANYONE knows that Guile was probably the third worst character in Street Fighter...ever.


    So it's my dream, right? Well I better save the day!! As cool as Shadow from Final Fantasy 3 (or 6 if your Japanese and reading this), there is one person cooler:



    Zangief


    (pronounced ZAHN-gee-EFFE)


    Essentially, I beat the crap out of Raul Julia like everyone (including the Grim Reaper) has.


    And my dream ends something like this:



    ~Taylor Wilson, Staff President

March 2, 2005

  • Good evenin' folks. I have some interesting news... but not much; I think you can handle the reading.


    I... well really, JAKE got our first noise citation from the proprietor of our duplex. Apparently my neighbors--I have not met them yet-- have a kid who goes to sleep around 9pm? I'm sorry, but I think that kid isn't being raised correctly.


    Also, anyone else think it's strange that I've lived in my apartment for at least two weeks and STILL haven't seen my DUPLEX neighbors? I think so. And I'm right, all the time, so of course you think so... really, it was a rhetorical question.



    No, Jake does not have temper problems... unless you throw up in his bathroom.


    So, as you could have guessed, Jake's birthday is coming soon. It's this Saturday actually... I was going to make it an open invitation to anyone from Xanga-land, but apparently Jake's inviting a lot of HIS friends over and I just can't risk having too many people at once. So... I'm not asking anyone to come. IF you want to come, just call me and let me know so I can give you instructions. Just wait.. one of these days, I'm having a huge Xanga party... sort of like the ones Myspacers have.


    That's about all I have for this post, but why let that stop me? It never has before...


    What can I give to my adoring fans... How about baby pictures? What a great draw.



    Here I am on my 4th birthday... g'damn!! Those are some BIG BANANAS!!




    So these pictures are from Halloween 1989... And yes, I started the cuffed jeans trend.



    And to this day, I STILL play with LEGOS



    I thought I'd give you guys a picture of me in my underwear... I'm such a tease... but wait a second...



    If a little kid could be sexier, I'd lower my morals... no... but seriously.


    Well thank you all for bearing with me, and sorry about the lack of posting... I don't have internet at my apartment so I have to come home to my parents' to do this.


    I love you all... I really do,



    ~Taylor Wilson, Staff President

February 23, 2005

  • //EDIT//


    So... a lot of the pictures are not working on this post. My only guess is because I'm linking them from Kathryne's Yahoo album. I can't be certain on that though, since all of the pictures seem to be fine to me. Looks like I have a lot of work to do... blast it.


    \TIDE\


    Ok, so I my apartment's party virginity has been lost.


    Sorry if I didn't really invite people... I had to keep it quiet on my first night there.


    Well what better a reason to party than Jennifer Sharp's big nineteen?


    All I can say is that I love this girl and she deserved to have a carefree night, that's for sure. Jenn, this post is for you.


    The magic of this night is brought to you by...



    Alcohol!



    Zach Foster and Zach Todd not indcluded


    Really... more like sorcery.


    BZzZzZZZ!!! (see that's the sound a level 5 thunderbolt spell makes)


    Before I go on any further, I must let all you ladies know about my newest SINGLE friend...



    *omgclickthename*Ben Gruel*omgclickthename*


    He is quite possibly the nicest guy I've met on Xanga, and on top of that... gawd he's rugged. If I weren't so straight, I'd take a stab at him. So, ladies, I think all of you should go to his xanga and send him lot's of love. Who know's how long he will remain single after this! Quickly now! He's selling like those damn Tickle-Me Elmos!


    This here... is the picture rush of my xanga:



    CALL IN THE PICTURE BARAGE!!!







    Phew! Ok that's over with...


    After the hardcore partying, we really just dabbled in the ritualistic butt sex... ya know?




    I'm pretty sure I walked away from that night with about seven new and undiscovered STDS...


    Hey, John Baber, what do you think of that?



    Yeah, I didn't think so.


    Well just you all wait for the next post... it will include in-depth instructions on how to get to my house with pictures and everything... WOW!!


    It should come someday... maybe after I've gotten 100 comments on this one... at least 100 eprops. Yeah, the king of Xanga has high standards. Until then... here's my title:


    ~Taylor Wilson, Staff President (re-throned king of Xanga)

February 18, 2005

  • It's been a while since I posted last folks, and for that I am sorry.


    A lot of things have been going on this past week... though I don't think any of it constitutes a solid reason for me to go without posting.


    First and foremost, I would like to congratulate my friend, Matt Pever, on getting his first xanga post already deleted by the Xanga Staff. That's right, his post was just that offensive. Everyone should pay homage to him.



    Sorry Matt, John already revealed your identity.


    Also another honorable mention is Edmond Memorial's Follies 2005. It was by far the greatest Follies I've seen... that would be out of five Follies. Jenna Wilson (no relation) is perhaps the greatest female singer I've ever heard... I mean aside from the goddess that is Aretha Franklin... but no one can outstage that sista.


    In other news, you may have noticed my new layout. Thanks to Eli[te]sa, I no longer have redeye in my banner... thank you darling. Speaking of her, you all should visit her site and send her lots of love.


    If you've ever had the intention to buy aviator sunglasses, Walgreen's is the place to go. I bought the best pair of aviators ever for just $10... hopefully they'll last longer than a week. They're indeed better quality than the 7-11 aviators I've been buying.


    # of aviators I've owned: 11 pairs


    To bring up a sad event, my dear friend, Johnny V, lost a dear friend of his the other day. If people would go to his site and pay respects, I'd really appreciate it... I'm sure he'd appreciate it more.


    Ok, well I'm not really into sad stuff, so moving on... I have GREAT NEWS!!


    First... study this map:



    As of today, that red dot is officially the location of my appartment. I will be moving in this weekend and from there on out, I expect every Edmondite-Xangan to come visit me.


    I really wish I could have lived at the original house my mom owns with Drew, Matt, and Jake, but apparently the wiring was from the 1930s and the cost of rewiring outweighed the cost to just knock the house down and rebuild a new house. Pretty bad, I know.


    Looks like I'll be living with just Jake, but I don't think I mind at all... I mean Jake is my best of best friends.


     and


    LIVING TOGETHER


    Amazing... need I say more?


    I think not.


    ~Taylor Wilson, Staff President

February 11, 2005

  • Well this post was inspired by Aerial, who posted a picture memorial of her cat, Angel.


    I've decided I'm a cat person. Simply enough, I love cats... particularly my cat, Casper.



    He is just so regal, it's amazing. If he were to have a profession, it would be knighthood. Heh... he's sugar free.



    Yes, my cat likes it behind the ear.



    If this picture doesn't hook you, none will.


    Hope you enjoyed my cat... I have for the eight years I've had him.


    No he isn't dead... in fact, you should come over and meet him.


    ~Taylor Wilson, Staff President.