For the sake of my Xanga posts not having the consistency of some crappy livejournal post, I've been avoiding posting.

Please understand this was not because I was avoiding the one [inanimate] love in my life, but because I simply had nothing interesting to note. It's summer, gimme a break.

Though I've kept myself busy, hardly any of it has been deemed "interesting," yet when has that stopped me from putting something on Xanga?

Most of my time spent has been on my trusty computer, picking up new tricks on Paint Shop Pro.  My favorite works during my hiatus are designs I made for possible theme parties... for example:

and

and

I know what all you Mormons are saying: "Holy shit, Taylor! Theme parties? That's fucking sweet!" The notion seems good to me too... only problem is that I'm pretty short on money, being I have no job and still have to shell out three hundred a month for my share of the rent. But...

Four Franklins and six Jacksons, suckahs.

Thankfully my family pays well for physical labor (and I don't mean sex). And extra thankfully, three branches of my extended family have decided to move this Summer.

So since I actually DO have money, here's a big question that I need answered: IF I THREW A THEME PARTY, WOULD YOU GO TO IT?

And another question:

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY NEW HAIR?

Personally, I hate it. I blame it all on myself though; I should have never trusted the care of my hair in "my mom's FRIEND'S" hands. The only good thing about my hair is that if I shaved the rest of it into a mohawk and grew out a wicked beard, I'd look a lot like Zangief. Example:

Unable to forget the Street Fighter live action movie? Me neither. Well that's my face on Andrew Bryniarski's (as Zangief) body.

I can't really think of much more to say, so do take care and let me know what you think of a theme party.

~Taylor Wilson, Staff President

This would not, by any means, be what I consider a post. I just have one question:

Does someone want to go to Moore with me sometime soon? It sounds awfully tempting I know.

Ok ok... would it help if I told you it has to do with my next post?

~Taylor Wilson, Staff President

No, I'm not modest.

It seems like everyone's doin' it, so here I am, once again. It's four thirty-one in the A.M... and I'm posting. About what? I don't know yet.

I'm sure what most of you are concerned about is the news front on the cats. There's only one thing to say about my darling Hans and Jules:

The Kittens are in a better place.

Ancient Chinese recipe... sautee them in whiskey. Thanks Ashley!!!

No no no... I didn't actually eat the cats. As much as Chinese food sounds great right now. Really, the kittens just disappeared, which leads me to believe that either:

1. 
   
   They were robotic spies sent by my mom to see how little I actually accomplish in a day.
   
   
2. 
   
   My child-abusing neighbor gave them to someone.
   
   
3. 
   
   My child-abusing neighbor took them to a vet to extinguish their flame.

I'm leaning towards choices 1 or 2... I'm not sure. In ANY scenario, they're in a better place right now. Except scenario 1... then they'd probably be in storage or a junkyard somewhere. Also in any scenario, my neighbor is a child abuser.

In current news involving my personal life--since this is Xanga...

I'm interested in someone. In fact... if I had to represent my feelings through a video game... the game would have to be legend of Zelda for the NES, and the picture would have to look like so:

As you can see... the love meter hearts are all full.

Of course you know how these things work out; they don't--as long as I'm involved. So don't bother guessing and I won't bother telling you who it is. Deal? Deal.

Oh, and it's not Elisa. Though I love her the mostest.

That's it for now... I think I'm going to try and find something productive to do at 4:31 in the morning... like...

...Trim my sideburns...

...blow dry my hair...

...trim my chest hair...

...OR battle within my mind whether to comb or to brush...

Really, that's all I do; well, that and video games. So.. until next time.

~Taylor Wilson, Staff President

P.S. I will block you forever, regardless of who you are, if you leave a chain letter comment on here. And that... would be a travesty to anyone.

First off, thank you everyone who gave me their number. I have my old phone up and working and I can now receive calls.

Moving on, I'm sorry for being gone so long guys. I have my reasons though; I came down with a bad case of

Cat Scratch Fever

Yes... and essentially that is what this whole post is about. My new roommate, Matt, and I came across these two stray kittens, and unlike Ted Nugent's [wonderful] song, I mean actual kittens, not ladies.

That's Hans on the left, and Jules on the right.

As you can see, these two cats are adorable. And as you can guess, I'm a sucker for kittens. They are the yellow to my Green Lantern, if you will.

There's just one problem. I'm not fit to take care of kittens. I mean, heck, I can barely take care of myself. Therefore, I'm posting this to invoke sympathy from everyone. Hopefully, someone out there has a home for these two.

"How do you suppose you'll inspire sympathy, Taylor," you may ask?

It's really quite simple. All I need is a

Kitty Pikture Skroll

Here, I caught Hans hiding behind the broken recliner and finishing off a Mike's Hard Lemonade.

When not serving his time in the Peace Corps, Jules likes to model and volunteer at the local fire station.

Hans also ate the rest of my Brown Bag Special at Sonic... thankfully.

Jules is also quite adept to rewiring computers.

After living the luxurious life of drinking and feasting, Hans was all but tuckered out.

Wal-Mart kitten-size cups: 5 for $3
Kittens: 2 for free

You don't even need to entertain these cats. Watch as they play charades with each other.

If you are not in love with these cats yet, then you're a hardcore dog person.

Well.. I hope that certainly sealed the deal with some of you. Please IM me if you're interested.

If you aren't interested... well... here's the bad news:

If no one adopts these cats, I will have to kill them. I'm sorry.

~Taylor Wilson, Staff President

Ok ok, so here's a photo for god's sake,

My [$500] phone is officially dead. I mean resting in pieces alongside my XBOX. My numbers are gone [for the third time in two days].

Leave your number on here or I'll never call you. Simple as that.

~Taylor Wilson, Staff President.

P.S. I know that the fact I'll never call is a blessing to some of you.

P.P.S. Remember when Green Day was my favorite band and they kept their political views to themselves? Yeah.. that was back in fifth grade.

P.P.P.S. And since I'm on the point of music... check out my music bar.

My favorite picks are:
Steely Dan - Peg
Frank Zappa - Bobby Brown
String Cheese - Latinissmo

I'll be the first to say it:

I don't like the Killers.

Yes I know, that's blasphemy to a lot of people... but disagreeing with me is blasphemy to everyone. Well now that I have your attention...

I have a major major major request:

PHONE NUMBERS. I need them. If you think I have your number, I do not. The reason? My phone (the mini computer) ran out of juice last night, and if that ever happens, then I lose all of my numbers... all ga-ba-jillion of them.

So... like the Graham Coxon (not Graham Colton) song, I'm really freaking out. (Major Taylor points to anyone who knows what band Graham Coxon was in before he went solo) So essentially... if you're reading this, and know that I had your number at some point (or you would like me to have your number) then please IM ME with it.

Please, my social life was rather primitive beforehand, but now it's six feet under.

LET ME REITERATE: I LOST 300+ PHONE NUMBERS.

I have yet another t-shirt
from
Bustedtees.com

Are you a big fan of the Constitution?
"I sure am."

Do you like big hairy animals (watch it...)?
"Heck, I pretty much am one."

Do you like jokes that would make your 11th grade Social Studies teacher chuckle?
"Those are pretty much the only one's I know."

Well shoot! You should LOVE this shirt then.

I'll let that sink in for a second...

Don't get it? Don't blame ya. Who actually paid attention in US Government? Let me show you another paint shop pro'd masterpiece (with another witty caption) to help you out.

The 2nd Amendment: the right to bear arms (and think about Grizzly Adams)

To sum up my post for those who don't read it:

1. 
   
   I don't like the Killers
   
   
2. 
   
   I need you to IM me with your phone number because my phone erased them all.
   
   
3. 
   
   Graham Coxon > Graham Colton
   
   
4. 
   
   Grizzly Adams was a great man

Thank you all.

~Taylor Wilson, Staff President

It is now officially Summer for me.

Just thought I'd rub it in the high schoolers' faces. Hah! Well maybe I shouldn't since a lot of my fans (that I do AND don't know) are still in high school. Anyway, sorry you guys have to go through however many weeks that are left...

So how did I kick off my summer?

What is that, I wonder?

So that heap of computer parts on the concrete is none other than my recently departed Microsoft XBOX. One lesson I learned the hard way is that you should never buy an XBOX used... or maybe you should just never buy an XBOX period. Chances are, as an XBOX gets older, it becomes senile and partially blind, based on the assessment that my XBOX couldn't read my brand new XBOX games...

Like the fate of any old thing, my XBOX needed to be put out of it's misery.

The battle between the XBOX and I was a great one indeed... Microsoft built a strong shell for an otherwise poorly-made video game system.

In the end, I was still in one piece, whereas you can see...

...was not the same tale for my cadaverous console.

(Yes, that's my 8th grade football shirt... and I needed every ounce of Tiger Pride to break this esse-oh-bee)

And so, as any Tiger-Proud man, the victor boasts over his success...

...and then that proud warrior probably took it a step too far...

Wait a second.. am I actually peeing on it? That's HXC*

Me:my XBOX::Full House:Family Matters

So you guys have seen the extent of my gamer fury... that now makes my video game hardware death tally:

-4 playstation controllers
-2 super nintendo controllers
-1 NES controller
-1 Gameboy
-3 N64 controllers (all from natural causes)
-1 XBOX

I take my gaming seriously... and my inability to game even more seriously... my XBOX had to learn the hard way...

R.I.P. XBOX,
Sometime way before I bought you during Fall Semester --
-- May 6th, 2005

Let us all take a moment of silence... then comment.

~Taylor Wilson, Staff President

Interesting Factoid: the word "XBOX" was used thirteen times during this post... including just then.

*-- "HXC" is how the cool kids say "Hardcore.." because obviously unnecessary X's make things cooler.