April 5, 2005

• This may be how you felt after reading my last Xanga post:

  
  

  
  I know I know... I stabbed your with my sharpened tears of sorrow.

  
  

  But cheer up, emo kids! Just comb that hair for once and DON'T adjust the contrast on all of your pictures, because I didn't actually leave you!

  
  

  As five of you found out (and then commented... thusly getting your comment deleted... sorry), that was actually my April Fools Post! HAH! Well I got about thirty of ya.

  
  

  I just want you all to know that, just like my info says and like I've told Rhetta thousands of times before: "I WILL Xanga until I die."

  
  

  You see, I mentioned something about real life and xanga conflicting... here's a very in-depth diagram to explain it all:

  
  

  
  Xanga, of course, being the actual sumo.

  
  

  While life is important, there is no chance that my life will be able to overcome my lust for Xanga... therefore, real life, like the small white kid, just needs to accept the fact it won't win the fight.

  
  

  I'm very sorry it took so long to make this post, but I've really had an eventful weekend for once. As all of you Oklahoman's know, last weekend was the Medieval Fair in Norman, which just so happens to be one of my favorite events, period.

  
  

  Just for the record (and to propel myself farther into loser-dome), I have not missed a Medieval Fair in Norman since I was introduced to it in 2nd grade.

  
  

  For the first time in my eleven years attending the Medieval Fair, I realized that the actual WEIRD people are not the ones who dress up at the fair, but a large amount of the people who don't dress up and attend the fair.

  
  

  For example:

  
  

  

  
  

  Johnny "Twisted Clown on the inside" Violence

  
  

  Now this is not someone I know. That is not his name (though in his world, it might be similar). I just looked up the stereotypical word "Goth" on Google's image search and this was the first disowned kid I found 'post-worthy.' Most people think it's rude to judge people's looks with stereotypes, but that's something that makes both the United States and I such kick-ass things: being over 50% conservative, judging people by their looks and then lampooning them right before beating them up.

  
  

  Woo... off on a tangent... anyway...

  
  

  This fair was also the first time for me to see something I find very upsetting:

  
  

  TONS OF BOYS IN GIRLS PANTS--

  
  

  C'mon now. It's not cool to advertise how you can fit in your friend's younger sister's pants. Instead, it advertises something else. I remember in a much simpler time (Elementary school) when all us physically superior kids would beat up on the sensitive and more fragile kids... I guess some kids never learn though.

  
  

  Ladies, what's so hott about a guy who has crappy hair, a smaller waste than you and so much pent-up sexual frustration that he takes it out on his guy friends?

  
  

  
  ((Click to enlarge))
  Watch out, boys--these guys are sexually confused!

  
  

  One thing I'm very thankful for is the fact that as long as these guys dress this way, I have a huge edge over them when competing for a job*.
  
  *-void if job is fashion design

  
  

  The only entity more closely fitted to this girlish-boy persona than actual girl pants is this horrible excuse of noise known as "GRINDCORE."

  
  

  "GRINDCORE? More like GRINDSUCK!!"

  
  

  If you believe in that saying at all, then I have the perfect blog for you... and >>here<< it is.

  
  

  Enough of my jingoistic personality.

  
  

  Next year will be by far the greatest year of all for the Medieval Fair.

  
  

  "Why," you ask?

  
  

  Well because next year I'm gathering a band of adventurers suited to best any journey and any foe... and here they are:

  
  

  

  
  

  The Banger's mystic abilities to harness nature and wildlife not only for revivifying but for malevolent damage spells are an asset to any group.

  
  

  

  
  

  The Zinger's brute strength and hulking demeanor are enough to send any creature with half a brain scampering in the other direction. And his dealings with tribal herbs also prove beneficial to the party.

  
  

  

  
  

  If deceptiveness and stealth are your game, then Matthew the Rogue will be your favorite character. Whether it's stealing loot, lusting the ladies, or causing general mischief everywhere, Matt is always invisible even to the keenest of eyes.

  
  

  

  
  

  The tales a bard may tell are never-ending. More so a lover than an actual fighter, Joel uses his natural charisma to aid his group members. From boosting the morale of his allies with song, to boosting the bargains in Taverns with his charm, Joel is a friend you will find most captivating.

  
  

  With these loyal friends at my side, no doubt shall we be prosperous in our ventures.

  
  

  

  
  

  ~Taylor Wilson, Staff President

  • 12:49 am
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